In the beginning…

I had a dream and dove in head first.

The moment I knew I was really doing this was when I got the opportunity to interview for a 9-5 creative position, and right after I accepted the interview, I felt so much dread. I called my best friend immediately and said, “I don’t know why I did that.” The next day, I called the organization back and canceled. In that moment I knew a 9-5 wasn’t going to work. I wanted the freedom to still do the things I loved: coach gymnastics, volunteer at Lifewise, and choose how much I made, how much I traveled, and how much time I had for kids, events, church.

What I didn’t know I was getting into was lots of learning, refining, and patience. I thought, “I’ll take this course, learn how to build websites, combine it with everything I learned in college, and boom, I’m going to be awesome.” Silly girl. Yes, I’m just a silly little girl with big fat dreams, and that’s okay. I didn’t know I’d be learning admin, business, marketing, taxes, processes, balance, all of it, because when you’re starting out with no one to delegate to, you get to wear every hat.

The hardest part of explaining this path to other people has been that it isn’t linear. It’s not like I clock in at 9, take an hour for lunch, clock out at 5, and collect a set paycheck after taxes. The comfortable, controlled life. And that’s okay, because the control that comes with that comfort was never something I was willing to settle for. I didn’t want my creative brain stuck in a box every day. I’m a free-spirited, curious, adventurous soul, and when you lock a personality like that up, it starts breaking out and bursting at the seams. That’s exactly why school was so hard for me. Not because I wasn’t capable, but because I was being limited, controlled, and regulated.

The Mess of the Middle 

You learn nothing if you skip the messy middle. That’s literally where you learn.

A specific messy middle moment I remember is realizing I actually had to build processes and systems for this business. I genuinely thought I’d just figure it out as I went. I felt scared to reach out to people or handle an inquiry, because I didn’t actually know what came next. For a while I used Upwork, since there was a system already built for me there, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Too much competition, and clients looking at corporate experience before quality or ability. I felt defeated for months. Real imposter syndrome, the newbie kind.

The thing I struggled with most in the middle was comparison, systems, and juggling too much. I had to get okay with the fact that I’m not the same as the person next to me. My process, my timeline, none of it has to look like theirs. Comparison was killing my progress, so I chose to become a cheerleader for other people instead, knowing our paths aren’t better or worse, just different. I also had to learn balance: when too much was too much, and when things were slipping through the cracks. I made priority lists. I reminded myself I’m the one steering this ship. If I need to slow down, I slow down. If a project isn’t aligned, I make space for one that is. I’ve built an internal measure for all of it, because taking care of myself is taking care of my business and the people around me. Not responding on weekends helps me show up better for my friends and family, and with a clearer mind for my clients. Clutter in my space is clutter in my mind (that one probably deserves its own post).

Looking back, what that mess actually taught me is that building, learning, and growing come in waves. The faster you figure out how to jump with the waves, instead of fighting against them or getting washed under, the closer you get to success. The path isn’t a straight line, but there are ways to make it easier. (There’s probably a whole post in that one too, on the systems and processes that make the waves easier to ride.) 

How I’ve Adjusted

Balance. Discipline. Perspective shift. Love.

Balance: not everything can happen in one day. There are so many gurus online making it look like you can start a business overnight and be making thousands in no time. Maybe that’s true for some people, but when your life is already full of people and things you’re committed to, it’s just not that simple. Slowing myself down, and letting go of comparison, is something I wish I’d learned sooner, it would have saved me a lot of anxiety this past year.

Discipline: once you start, there’s this invisible expectation to show up every single day. Being human just doesn’t allow for that. You have to master balance to actually be disciplined. Real discipline is what shows up when everything feels like it’s failing and you don’t quit. You pivot.

Perspective shift: you change how you see it. When everything becomes an opportunity to learn, it lifts some of the weight. It’s easier to show up, and easier to try again. I’ve also realized I don’t have to be like everyone else. I want to be unique, and that matters more than ever in this era of social media.

Love: I’ve fallen more and more in love with designing, and my goal is to eventually love the business side just as much. I already love writing, teaching, and community and networking.

Well Wishes and Tips

You can’t build a house in one day. Anyone telling you differently is setting you up for failure.

If I could tell someone starting out one thing, it’s that the path to building a business is not linear. My second tip: some days will be awesome, and others will require discipline. My third: above all else, be yourself. There’s no better way to stand out than being someone no one else can be.

I’d end this piece by saying I don’t regret a single thing. I once heard that the people who fail faster also learn faster than the people waiting to be the best. Reps mean more for growth than learning more without taking action.

A year of business this September. Still building. Still learning. Still glad I dove in.

With Love, Shelbi